Dorothy Skarles continues her series on Bereavement, Memoir, and Expressing Oneself in Writing with a post about Dogs and Grief. Welcome friend.
Do Dogs Feel Grief?
Throughout the world many dedicated people own pets.
The bereavement group is no exception.
“I don’t think dogs grieve,” one woman said when the subject of grief for the family dog came up during a bereavement session.
“I disagree,” cried another. “When my spouse died, our dog was as sad as any human being. He even looked as if he had tears in his eyes, and I just knew he was suffering.”
She was trying to dispel any misconception in the group that family pets didn’t feel grief, and a man agreed with her.
“Well, I think dogs show sorrow in different ways,” he said. “My two Chihuahua’s kept running into the bedroom, sniffing and looking for my fiancé. They ran up the steps we had to get on the bed and sniffed her billow where she died, and just laid there.”
A new widow joined in. “I had to put my dog in the spare bedroom and lock the door. He didn’t want to leave my husband. She cried all the time the medics were there. Sometimes, I am so sad I feel comfortable crying while talking to my dog about my husband. She puts her paws on my lap and we cry together. We are a support twosome for each other.”
“My dog Angel,” I said, getting in on the conversation, “wouldn’t sleep in her own bed, but slept on my husbands bed for a whole month. She roamed the house everyday looking for him. She didn’t even eat her food. I had to coax her to eat.”
The dictionary says, a dog is remarkable for its intelligence and its attachment to man.
Even Senator George Graham said a eulogy on the dog.
“Gentlemen of the Jury: The one, absolute, unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.”
And as for me, I have always had a dog. I even told my husband when he asked me to marry him that if he loved me, he would have to love my dog. Then after forty years of having many different four-legged barking pets, and the last dog died, I told my husband, “That’s it! No more dogs for me.”
But than my grandson rescued an abused dog and brought her to the house, and his grandfather said, “Put her in the back yard, your grandmother needs a dog.” So that’s how I got my ten-month-old Jack Russel / Pit Bull, not a pedigree but a thoroughbred mongrel. My grandson named her angel, and now she and I cope together.
So do dogs feel grief?
What do you think?
Thanks Dorothy.
Touching and lovely story…I too believe that dogs and cats have that special power to understand feelings ….
I do believe dogs grief. I saw it in my mother's dog when she passed. Molly would look for her and just stare at my dad, as if she was asking him where mom was.
Our dog had a cat he was close to, and when the cat died, he went into a deep depression. It was hard to see. He stopped eating, lost weight, and didn't want to play. Eventually, he moved on and ate and gained his weight back, but I know it was because he was grieving the loss of his little gray kitty.
Thanks in believing, Uma. I also think that a dogs friendship is constant to its master in all things.
I know how your mothers talk must have felt. My mothers 15 year old dog wouldn't eat when she died, After only two days, moms lovable rescue dog went to sleep and didn't wake up. It was hard to believe that would happen.
I know dogs and cats grieve. I used to have a dog and two cats. When the dog died, one of the cats looked for her for months.
We now have a rescue dog, and although she loves my husband and is very fond of me, she is still grieving for her former owner. We believe he died and his heirs abandoned her, or else she went looking for him and was picked up by the SPCA. She still has abandonment issues, and cries when my husband goes out to see clients.
How nice to have a guest writer, Margaret!
Dorothy knows her dogs for sure. I "communicate' with dogs and some animals as well. Animals respond well to human language especially when they grew up as part of the family. When I visit other homes with dogs I made friends with the animals as well (including some bullies HAHA!)and I get a drooly kiss as well.
And at the risk of sharing too much, I am sharing to the public Bogart's story in my friday post. Tomorrow is Bogart's birthday and that ends my week-long tribute for him.
I hope Dorothy has a blog I can follow?
Yes, I believe animals grieve just as much as their human counterparts. I previously posted on "Enter the Between" something similar, but feel compelled to post it again.
When Roy Rogers & Dale Evans' two year old daughter Robin passed away, her loyal companion Lana (the family dog) knew and grieved.
Quoted from "Angel Unaware" by Dale Evans Rogers, page 63 "My special pal, the dog, Lana, was out there. She kept walking up and down, up and down, restlessly, and then she began to bark, loud and insistently. Lana knew! Mommy patted her while she prayed a prayer of thanksgiving to You for letting me stay two years. Just as Daddy met her on the porch and she went crying into his arms, You came, and I felt myself being lifted up."
Yes, animals grieve. bernadine
Kay, I am so happy you have a rescue dog. There are so many, and they all need a home. I used to have two of them, but now only one. Thanks for writing and helping the dogs.
Lui Thank you for your comment. I have been thinking of writing about my wolf, a 99% wolf from Alaska. I had her for 13 years. Let her roam all of the house and yard. She never slept in the house (didn't want to) or inside a dog house, but went to bed on the roof instead. Wonderful animal, and can certainly be trained to live with people. They are not the bad animals.
Bernadine, I believe one time you said you had cats. I also have a cat. And she and my rescue dog play all the time. They are good company. Thanks for following me.
It's odd, the dog I had most of my life, I never saw her sad, but I don't think there ever was a time she needed to be sad. A friend of mine, they had a white German Shepard and he was so attached to my friend that when she went to stay w/ her parents for radiation, she had to talk to him on the phone and assure him she'd be home soon. After the conversation, he started eating again and cheered up. (also my dad is a firm believer dogs don't feel emotions. Annoys the crap out of me.)
Patricia, I had to laugh at your comment for your Dad. A lot of people also annoy me when they feel that dogs or cats have no feelings. They both grieve. My dog Angel is a very good watch dog for me, my home, and yard. It makes me happy that my Jim said, "Grandma needs a dog." She fills many lonely days and nights. Thanks for writing.
I understand them because I love them. My dogs are just like my brother and sister. 🙂
Yes Aris, Once you get them, they are your family. And like a child, once you have them, you keep them for as long as God lets you. Thanks for the comment.